Whether it’s a personal vendetta from being passed over for a promotion or you just can’t stand your boss, the gloves are coming off. No more Mr. or Ms. Nice Employee! It’s time to annoy your boss.
Once your boss feels the full force of your wrath, they’ll have no choice but to cower in your presence for fear of any future reprisal. What could possibly go wrong, right? Here are ten surefire (and completely tongue-in-cheek) ways to annoy your boss and put you on the path to eternal workplace glory!
Make a habit of being late
Show your boss you are your own person. You’ll come to work when you darn well please. This will go a long way to both annoying your boss, and boosting your happiness, so just remind them of this as you casually drop a link to The Real Value of Employee Happiness in their email each time you’re late. Might as well also have a solid excuse or two lined up. How can they argue with the fact that you couldn’t come in on time because your hangover wouldn’t allow it? I mean, come on. Tardiness was unavoidable, right?
Play musical chairs
Everyone should embrace change. This includes the chairs we use on a daily basis. It’s healthy! Since your antiquated boss with their outdated clothes and archaic leadership style doesn’t seem to understand this, you ought to give them a push into the twenty-first century. It can’t hurt to help! Every time your boss leaves the office, swap out their chair. Maybe they’ll learn to embrace change and delight in the surprise.
Or maybe they’ll just slowly slip into madness… but hey! Wasn’t that kind of the point?
Spell their name wrong… on everything
Like an overzealous barista during the morning rush, make it a point to wreck your boss’ name every time you have to spell it. For extra fun, try not to misspell it the same way twice. A simple name makes this game all the more exciting. That’ll teach “Air In,” “Fibi” or “Panellipe” to mess with you!
Label everything as urgent
Time off request for the weekend? Urgent. Quick policy question? Urgent. Someone took a bite out of your sandwich that was in the fridge? Extremely urgent. What you have to say matters. They will soon realize this. Urgently.
Reply to old emails
Reach way way back into your email and find one from your boss that is at least three months old and reply to it like it came in that morning. Ask a question, or simply acknowledge that it still exists by replying with an ominous “received.” While you’re in there, if you see any other random emails that should have been deleted months ago, reply to those too. The more trivial the better. Just make sure to CC your boss on every email. They’re really going to regret messing with you.
Time your questions perfectly
See your boss heading towards the bathroom? What a great time to approach them and ask those burning webinar questions or share your latest great idea to quadruple business revenue! Other perfectly timed moments for optimum inconvenience: while they’re eating, heading to a meeting, or on their way out the door at the end of the day.
Swap your boss’ coffee
Your boss doesn’t need all that caffeine anyway. Swap out all the regular coffee for decaf. A tired boss is a boss far less likely to be worrying about what you’re doing! In fact, your boss may be too sluggish to worry about what anyone is doing. See? You just did the whole office a favor! Oh wait… they drank the decaf too. No worries… everyone is too tired to care. Carry on, Super Employee!
And if there’s no decaf available, try finishing almost all of the coffee, then burning the rest! Not only are you filling the entire office with the pleasant aroma of burnt coffee, but you’re also practicing how to be a jerk at work.
Appoint yourself sheriff of the grammar police
Bad grammar is like a plague. Once a casually displaced hanging modifier and reckless subject-verb agreements are used, particularly by those meant to set an example, chaos can ensue.
NOT ON YOUR WATCH! GRAMMAR POLICE TO THE RESCUE!
Make a point to edit every email your boss sends out and send it back to him or her. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it. Your boss’ bad grammar sets an unhealthy standard that can quickly spread through an entire office. Also, be sure with every email you so thoughtfully correct, press “Reply to All” so your coworkers can learn too. You’re doing a public service here. Bless you!
Be a spoiler
You’re caught up on all of your boss’s favorite shows. Too bad he or she is too busy terrorizing hard working employees like you to watch them live and waits for them to come out on Netflix or Hulu. Arm yourself with all the juiciest, most jaw-dropping spoilers to share at full volume in the office first thing in the morning. Better yet, send them a text minutes after the episode finishes airing and ask their opinion on how the show will continue after what Ryan said to Marissa!
Be a storyteller
You’ve tried being direct, but it’s not like your boss ever listened or appreciated it. It may be time to take a new approach. Rather than simply telling your boss that you’ll be late on Tuesday because you have to pick up your great aunt from the airport, start by painting a vivid word mural of the small town where Aunt Eloise was born. Explain how it shaped her as an individual. How the town’s policies on stray animals led her to take in 500 cats. This could also be a good segue into how she makes her own cat food… and a mean pot roast. If this request doesn’t take at least 20 minutes, you’re doing it all wrong.
Know what’s even better than annoying your boss? Working with a boss you are excited to be on a team with! The Good&Co app can help you not only find your ideal employer, but also help you learn how to communicate better with your existing boss. Let’s be real: this is much more productive than that whole “annoy your boss” strategy.
Managers – what’s your biggest pet peeve? Share with us in the comments!
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